Broken Hearted in Baton Rouge

Dear Crabigail,

Last week I arrived at my fiancé’s house an hour earlier than I was supposed to. I rang his doorbell and waited and waited. Then I heard some scuffling on the side of the garage where he had a ladder leaning. I saw this naked blond climbing down and my fiancé was tossing her clothes out the window. Heartbroken, I ran to my car, threw my engagement ring, out the window, called them every name I could think of, backed into his Ferrari, and drove to a bar and got drunk. I need your help deciding if I should have done something different. 

Signed

Broken Hearted in Baton Rouge

Dear Broken,

You got yourself a boatload of should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. So I’ll jest answer one problem. Folks need to be careful climbing down them ladders. My own John Earl tried to climb one to patch the hole in our roof. Before he got himself to the gutter he started teetering and teetering til he dropped his whole box of nails, six shingles, a claw hammer and a six pack of Budweiser. Durn near hit me in the head. So I like to let folks know to stay off them ladders. You can pass that on to your feller and his girlfriend. 

Yours,

Crabigail